Crimson Tide

I sat outside on the patio couch last night to watch the starts and the sliver of a shiny moon, smile in the black sky. It was 87 degrees with a balmy breeze, making the palm fonds, sway like dark, slender waving fingers.

‘Hey, D, nice to see you out here in the warm night’

‘Hello my palm fond friends. Grateful to share these moments with you’

I could see the living room TV from the couch and Arkansas was playing High Point. It is March Madness college basketball season and I have become a fan, watching so many games while my Guy, struggles through his severely difficult detox in his bedroom. He is on day 5 though and hanging in like a champ. He was a college football star and also a big b ball fan back in his day – so he wanders out from his room and asks who is playing and what the scores are. At the end of the game I told him Arkansas beat High Point, 94 - 88; as if I’m in the know… haha. I do what I can to adjust to the job and he likes that I watch sports and converse with him about the college basketball competitions.

I watched Alamba play Hofstra earlier in the day. Alabama won 90-70. It was an exciting game and I didn’t know they referred to the Alabama team as, ‘The Crimson Tide’.

In 1977, ‘Aja’- by Steely Dan was one of my most cherished albums and ‘Deacon Blues’ was my favorite track. I was strung out on brown rock heroin in Coconut Grove Florida at the time, shacked up with my friend , A, who was an all-time heroine, heroin addict - and I wanted to die every time I heard that song.

They got a name for the winners in the world

I want a name when I lose…

There were so many lines that I used to feed my, 20 year old junkie mind frame:

‘Drink scotch whiskey all night long and die behind the wheel…

And -

I’ll make it this time, I’m ready to cross that fine line…

I used to always wonder about the lyrics of the chorus:

They call Alabama the Crimson Tide

Call me Deacon Blues…

I used to fantasize about how and deep and meaningful that was. Even though I had no idea of what Fagen and Becker meant…I had my own idea. I had my own, ‘Crimson Tide’ feelings- and had my own deep emotional pain that kept me in my narcotic cocoon. I knew it. I felt it. I lived it.

There wasn’t any Reddit search, that would tell me the real meaning but I was close; ‘The protagonist of the song wants a name that identifies him as a perpetual loser, the way that ‘Crimson Tide refers to a perennial winner, the University of Alabama.

It goes on to say, the protagonist in ‘Deacon Blues’ is a triple loser – an L-L-L Loser.

Well, that just about sums it up for 20 year, old lost in the narcotic haze, D…

50 years later I am helping another death wish Client come back to life, while I’m watching the games. The Crimson Tide is one of my favorite teams and I’m cheering for the perennial winers, cheering for my client to stay alive, cheering for my own life – and so grateful I am living it. I’m staring out at the palm fonds now, in the late morning sun, still waving their slender green fingers at me.

Go, D! Go, D! Go, D!

Which as I look at it – does spell -

God God God