Just enough

The Leo Carrillo hills were psychedelic vibrant, with all the wild plant life, dancing in the winds and singing to me as I hiked up the mud sloshed trail in between rain storms yesterday. The high rolling massive clouds of every shade from pale grey to ominous black sailed by with moments of bright white gold rays shooting through them each time the sun shone. I sang back to all the pulsing green plants and cacti and wild flowers, stretched straight with renewed water strength into the heavens. Hello! Hello! Hello my mother nature friends! My voice was carried by the gusts as I ascended, happy to be taking my steps up the clover covered rain drenched trail.

My thoughts intercepted as usual under the wide umbrella of life long questions: Where have I been? What have I done? Where am I going? Why did this happen? Why didn’t this happen? What could have happened? What should have happened? Would it ever be enough if everything I ever wanted did happen? Why is always wanting more the eternal dilemma – wanting, wanting, wanting…and never enough…

Until I would stop and touch a wild mustard seed flower or lightly rub a sage leaf between my soaked fingers or brush the wet pedals of a mountain daisy with my hand and christen my forehead with the pearls of water it bequeathed to me. Each time it brought me right there, into the moment of – enough.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, I said and continued up to my favorite precipice, looking out over the stormy Pacific covered in big thrashing whitecapped waves. The rain began to plummet again. I yelled out into the vast deluged horizon:

Moses! It’s me! I will part the sea and meet you!

I laughed out loud an slipslided my way back down to the parking lot where I stomped back and forth through a big rain puddle to get the mud off my trail shoes.

What can I do now? I thought. What would be enough right now?

I spotted an earthworm in the water, barely moving. It’s usual rich brown color was very pale because it was slowly drowning. I picked the worm up and gently placed it under a laurel sumac shrub. It immediately began to curl with a new sense of life and slipped into a crack in the dirt.

Thanks D, see ya later, I imagined the worm said - and - that - was - just - enough.