So This

There has been a lot of spaceship clouds in the desert; big oval, single white clouds with an outline of grey that seem to hover while the other smaller clouds just blow by. I have imagined a fleet of small alien spacecraft jetting out and descending down to greet us. I keep with the mindset of – greet – instead of attack as it makes the whole fantasy scenario much more desirable to muse on. The winds out here in Coachella Valley have been other worldly as well; with mutant sixty mile an hour gusts causing havoc over the past weekend. The entire Stagecoach festival was evacuated Saturday evening for hours; then the extreme winds suddenly subsided and it was calm again. Don’t tell me the aliens aren’t manufacturing those conditions haha.

I actually went to Stagecoach Sunday and had a great Country Western time with my Guy, who is doing quite well, albeit not AA sober. God forbid! You’re either In or Out. White or Black. When did you slip? Shame, shame, shame. Raise your hand and state your disease. Oh – and yeah, Welcome Back. Let us give you a chip and, a newcomer hug.

That does work for many to recover – and God bless them that it does - but it sends my Guy running back to the hills for alcohol; which he has been minimalizing to daily weed and a couple of nighttime glasses of vino. Who am I to judge, seriously. He seems okay for the past five days I have been here. He gets up early, has his coffee, does biz on his Ipad, makes phone calls, we go to lunch where he orders ice tea – and only when the sun sets does the moderate indulgence start. Should I be waiting, waiting, waiting for the other shoe to drop so I can say in my most subtle patronizing way : I told you so…

No, I tell him it seems like he’s doing fine and I hope it continues. He says he feels safe with me and I help him navigate his life – so it is what it is – for now. Yeah – the power of now. We all seem to know about it but how many of us really live it? How many of us really know anything about the key to life? I just read that twenty-two Buddhist Monks, got arrested for smuggling 242 pounds of Kush weed out of Thailand back to their temple in Sri Lanka. Me and my monistic meditation got rocked by that news haha. So what. Let the monks get stoned. Maybe they play Miles Davis, while they smoke. Da da da da da da da – So What. Let it all hang down, right. I can only take care of my reactions to life – and I am working for nonjudgemental acceptance, loving detachment and less suffering - so let everybody play and pay or not. I’m just monsieur Switzerland to the best of my ability.

There is a lovely soft wind this afternoon. The temperatures are in the mid- seventies. The sun is high in the turquoise desert sky with a layer of mellow rolly clouds nestled between the peaks of the San Jacinto mountains. I’m watching a ruby breasted hummingbird buzz around some potted cherry pie Dianthus flowers. Me in this moment. So What. So This -